It’s come to my attention that piggery, and indeed being a pig, has a negative connotation. Rightfully so, I suppose. The human conception of swine is that they are filthy animals that mill about in their own shit and gorge themselves on troughs full of spoiled scraps. Even the conception of a pig as portrayed on adrunkenpig.com can come off as negative, though it shouldn’t.
The term “chauvinist pig” has become commonplace in disparaging men who indulge in a rousing bachelor lifestyle, thanks in good part to that frigid ice-bitch Jessie from “Saved By The Bell”. How that insipid and venomous twig would scold Slater just because he was born a pussy magnet! Blasphemy!
It’s about time we brought the dignity back to being a pig, whether it be the actual animal or someone living a hedonistic lifestyle. Sure, swine exist in shit and decay, but I’ve often seen dogs, our beloved house pets, licking ass (their own and those of other dogs) and genitals, and eating fresh piles of crap off of the ground. Are they really better than pigs? No! So get off of Porky’s case, bigot! They’re no more disgusting than any other animal.
And as for pigs of the homo sapien influence, leave them alone too. They are revolutionaries, in a way. They are perpetually bringing about the demise of “moral” society, of this insidious worldwide superior/inferior witch-hunt, by living pleasurable, guilt-free lifestyles. They reject the indentured servitude endured by their fore-pigs by avoiding marriage and procreation, and indulging in self-reliance, responsible sexual gratification, and the pursuit of pleasure in all facets of life. There are men who start off with good intentions of piggery but end up as sexual perverts, drug addicts, sociopaths, criminals, etc…. these are not pigs. These are men who couldn’t conduct themselves responsibly and are shameful disgraces to true pigs. Let these pariahs be forever exempt from the realm of the pig. They are antisocial beasts, whereas the pig is a remarkably social animal. He has several close friends, he commands a good deal of attention wherever he is or whatever he happens to be doing, and he is successful in locating consenting women who also indulge in piggery.
Women, fear not the pig. The pig is not a predatory sociopath. He is merely a person in pursuit of happiness, supplementing his good fortune with casual encounters with the opposite sex from time to time. A pig probably won’t buy you a fancy dinner. A pig might not call you after he’s been with you (but that depends on you). A pig will enjoy spending time with you but won’t wanted to be in a committed relationship. A pig will always show you a good time, because your good time is conducive to his. A pig will understand if you choose not to associate with pigs, provided it’s for the right reasons. A pig is harmless and avoidable, but endlessly redeeming if you get to know and understand him. Pigs should be embraced and not shunned. Pigs are a vital part of our incestuous social ecosystem. Pigs are beautiful.
I am pig. Hear me squeal.
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1 comment:
Dude, I totally just beat off to that.
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