Our gay cats

I've watched an interesting thing unravel for the past few months: my cats' burgeoning homosexuality. I never thought I'd be the proud father of two gay cats, but then again I never thought I'd one day hold degrees in music and French and work for a life insurance company.

I've left them no alternative. For better or worse, they're indoor cats. They only have each other. And Cutus... Cutus was clearly taken away from his mother too early. He also looks and acts like a runt: awkward, clumsy, badly proportioned, his face permanently plastered with a look that is equal parts vague fear and profound bewilderment.

One evening, Cutus began sucking on Army's mantits. It was unexpected and unnerving. The loud, incessant slurping sound was the most disturbing part of it. Once we got used to it, only the slurping continued to bother us. On a moral and ethical level it's still alright wth me, it just pisses me off when it's so loud it wakes me up out of a dead sleep.