The Fart Police don't bust you for farting. They forcibly fart on people who richly deserve it. They'd have a lot of work to do here in San Fran.
There was the mother and her stupid kids on the train the other day. She kept screaming at them and they kept screaming back, fighting with each other and bumping into other people on the crowded N-Judah. That was a job for the fart police. I could see them getting on the train, handcuffing the woman and farting right into her nostrils. Her kids probably didn't deserve a full blast but they still would have gotten a little squirt.
I'd also like to see some of the obnoxious, angry homeless fuckheads around this town get farted on. Most homeless people are peaceful. Some are downright charming. I'm talking about the mean ones who yell at you when you don't give them money. I am trying to use my time on Earth to live and further the happiness of all mankind. Please do not hate me because I buy clothes from the thrift store slightly more often than you do. If you give me any shit, then splat! You're going to get beefed on.
It seems like there's a lot of angry black people here, far more so than down in SoCal. Of course there seems to be something mighty suspicious about the Oakland/SF disparity. It's hard not to imagine that some form of segregation is at work in the Yay Area. But I'm sorry Mr. Hustla, I am not "the man". I was not born here and I will not live out the rest of my life here. I am not the reason your life sucks. I am cool with people. If you give me a hard time, the Fart Police will find you and you will inhale shit air. At this point I feel like I should mention all of the white people who'd get farted on too; there's a lot of them. But the truth is I don't usually concentrate on black and white and red and brown and all of those other inaccurate melatonin-based labels. I only mention angry black folks because I'd never seen anything quite like it until I moved here. Witness my disillusionment.
The same goes for angry homos. I am not the jock who picked on you in high school. I absolutely do not give a shit about what you do with your cock or your pussy so please, leave me the fuck out of it. Or the Fart Police will come to your circuit party.
And last but certainly not least, I would unleash the Fart Police on any self-righteous asshole who thinks I'm a homophobic racist because I get annoyed by stupid people of every ethnicity, sexual orientation, and social class. So just to be a good sport, I'd also have them fart on the CEOs of every credit card company.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I feel like I need to elaborate on some of the statements made above. As far as "angry black folks" are concerned- first of all, I am referring to a minority of the commonly-referred-to-as-black (henceforth I will use "CRTAB", since I try to avoid melatonin-based labels) population of the Bay Area. CRTAB people have obviously been discriminated against and marginalized at certain times and places in this society. When speaking of "angry black people" I am referring to a segment of the CRTAB population that seems to have taken on the role of the red-headed stepchild of humanity. Like a child who have been beaten and obviously shown that he or she is not the parents' favorite, the child then acs out in defiant, often destructive behavior, to the deriment of itself and others.
I find this analogous to any marginalized group of people who misdirects their anger towards another group. This is also, I believe, the fallacy inherent in glorifying money and violence, in particular the type we find in today's popular music. In our youthful ignorance we are trained to aspire to a smaller piece of the pie (guns, ho's, cars, benjamins, etc.) rather than reconfiguring the social order of a society that is run by people who don'tt have ANY of our best interests in mind- no matter how much melatonin you have in your skin, or for that matter whatever sexual orientation you happen to hold.
As Zach de la Rocha said, "Fuck the g-ride- I want the machines that are making them."
For more on labels, government, and the games we all play, check this out: http://www.rawilson.com/whistlepiss.shtml
Post a Comment