1. People hearing me fart in the bathroom at work.
I really don't need to be afraid of this, but I am. I get so embarassed. I clench my cheeks and hope nothing squeaks out. Hopefully one of these days I'll work up the nerve to let a nice big froggy gurgler loose right when the boss is pissing in the urinal next to me.
2. Boogers in my nose.
What if someone saw me with a booger hanging out of my nose? I'd never be cool again. Oh wait, nobody thinks I'm cool anyways. Who the hell cares about a few bats in the belfry? Just scoop 'em out and go about your business.
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