Duty calls

Satan: Tony.

Tony: Umm....yes?

Satan: It's Satan. You know tom, don't you?

Tony: Tom? Sure. Why?

Satan: Well, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you. I need-

Tony: Well that's rude.

Satan: What?

Tony: You didn't even give me a chance to consider whether or not I should help you out, before you start blathering about what you need! I hate that!

Satan: So sue me. I'm Satan.

Tony: Fair enough. Continue.

Satan: It's just that lately, he keeps complaining about his life, hee-hawing about this or that. It's like he wants me to solve all his problems! I mean, on one hand, he's giving me the best press I've had in years, but then again, it's just not my gig! I don't help, I hinder!

Tony: So you're saying you don't want to help.

Satan: Not quite. I feel that I've helped too much already, and besides, I need to get back on track with my "buy your soul" shtick. Any ideas for some openers next time I see him?

Tony: Well, why should I help? I mean, before you came along, I was Tom's go-to guy for lifes little problems. What's in it for me?

Satan: Hows about this huge bag of weed?

Tony: Awesome! I say offer him infinite volume. That'll get him interested. If not, try the weed.

Satan: HahahahahahHahahaha! Jokes on you! That weed is cursed!

Tony: Weed's weed. Fuck you.

Satan: Awwwww......

Tune in next time for a careful analysis of my motivations in "Am I Lazy"!