Origins of the Drunken Pig

Teabaggg and Baron Von Puerco formed an acquaintanceship whilst frittering away the best years of their lives at a second-rate university in the same town that they had frittered away the previous years of their lives. Sharing common interests like procrastination, marijuana, cheap booze, loose women, and hygeine negligence, they soon formed an unbreakable bond.

Teabaggg and Von Puerco were also extraordinary narcissists and were consumed with the idea that they were brilliant artists. Knowing that two chauvinists are better than one, Teabaggg suggested that they gather two other low-lifes and form a low-rent, unoriginal blues quartet. Originally an excuse to smoke copious amounts of pot and play guitar, the quartet soon found itself with 5 or 6 semi-productive rehearsals and decided to document their aural blasphemy. Teabaggg enlisted the aid of a cohort he knew from his days as a white-trash dumpster-diving kit-shicker, and the group soon found itself recording in the music building of the same second-rate university at which Teabaggg and Puerco earned their useless degrees. Two hasty sessions later, a five-song, poor-quality demo was released, and the world hasn't forgiven them since.

Though the recording was abominable, it wasn't the most fetid, festering nugget of the session. The session was made tolerable by the presence of a case of Bud Light. Teabaggg, being a notorious consumer of toxin-based beverages, had more than his fill of the swill. There he was, clad in a stained white undershirt and equally stained jeans and Converse, stumbling about the campus of his discontented youth. Baron Von Puerco was ashamed of the sight, this 20-something individual, teetering and tottering like he had CP, spouting belligerent nonsense and wildly gesturing with a cigarette. Puerco felt it was his duty to make Teabaggg feel twice as ashamed as he himself felt. He tried to think of a clever or considerate way to break the news to Teabaggg, but, as if inspired by a higher and more loathesome being, the words fell from his tongue:

"You are a drunken pig."

A silence fell upon all who were witness. Puerco thought he percieved tears welling in Teabaggg's eyes, but was unable to confirm as Teabaggg's chin dropped to his chest in pure, unsullied, grade A shame. Puerco then commanded the newly-branded pig to add insult to his injury, shouting "Dance, pig! DANCE!" as Teabaggg feebly performed an uncoordinated jig. Thus the drunken pig was born.

Since then Baron Von Puerco and Teabaggg have had deep intellectual and philisophical conversations over the enigma that is the drunken pig, and each has arrived at a seperate but viable conclusion of what it is to be a pig. So consumed with this inconsequential nonsense were they that they launched a blog, soon to be upgraded to a full-scale, flash-and-pizzaz ultra-website the likes of which the cyberverse has never seen.